Fun with Moral Decay

I realize that each generation has its own style that leaves us old cats left scratching our heads, but I'm truly having a problem with 12 year old girls sporting terry cloth daisy dukes with "Juicy" on their ass. Ok, it's a problem I see with any age female wearing these cutie pie pants, because it's evolved. Now the female ass has become a modern day sandwich board for such savvy declarations as "hottie" or "sassy". So, after holding a think tank discussion at the bar, I have decided to combat this phenom by counter attack. Enter my new line...."Dirty Whore". I plan to market such catchy words as "Skanky" and "Itchy". Maybe "Bloody" for that time of the month. Hey, day of the week panties caught on, why not time of the month shorts?(In black of course). I think after men catch a glimpse of these little teasers, they will be so scarred that their eyes will be trained in a Pavlov like manner to never sneak a peek again. Hey, I love girly shit as much as the next little diva, but my ass speaks for itself in a pair of tight pants.
Maybe I'm on this rant because one of my very smartest friends just told me her little sister has announced that she wants to be a dancer in rap videos when she grows up. (Damn those Pussycat Dolls). Now, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I do have the goal of being in a 50 Cent video someday, hey, I'm gonna be 30. Sounds fun.------But, I also plan to spend a year in the Sudan and lobby for blanket health care and living conditions for every American....see...yen and yang. There's a balance. So where are the shorts that say "Smart"?
Now I'm just rambling, but I can't end this without inviting MTV to pick up my new show. It's called "My Super Realistic 30". It will include things like, making sure the rent is paid before I treat myself to a new pair of shoes. The food will be Taco Cabana and the guests will bring their own. And if I mouth off to my mom and call her a fucking bitch, I'll get knocked out to this day, because I was raised with pants that didn't make me feel I was a "DIVA" because they cost $50 and read it across my ass.