It's all for you angel

Today is my daughter's first birthday. Though I cannot be with her or give her the moon and stars I wish I could lasso for her, I decided to write this. I want her to someday read it, and I want you all to know the truth of this. So here goes.
Sweetheart, I am here with you. I have been since the day I placed you in your adoptive mother's arms. There is not a day that goes by that you do not cross my mind at least a good twenty times. And I ache from missing you. But, I know you are so very safe and loved and that you have what I could not have given you. Yes, I doubt anyone on this earth will ever love you more than I do, but you have a future now. You have a family. I wanted that traditional mommy and daddy life for you. I wanted a mommy who could be at home to wipe every tear from those precious little eyes and share every smile. We wouldn't have had that. I could have supported you financially, or been the attentive mother at home with you, but we would not have had both. You deserve both. I didn't give you up though, I just put you someplace for safe keeping until we meet again.
You are strong. I knew that from the first kicks I felt while pregnant. Shoot, I knew that when I found out someone had defeated the laws of modern medicine and birth control and decided to come to this world. How could I not respect something so set on existing? You were my little fighter from day one. Now, for every thank you I give to all of those that help me in missing you or getting through school, I need to thank the one who changed me. None of this would have happened without you. I wouldn't be back in school, I wouldn't be trying to better myself. This is all for you. If someday you should look at me and ask why, I want you to see what I pursued so adamently and realize that whatever the woman I become is, you are literally the seed that was planted in me that made me realize all things are possible. I dreamed of giving you the best life possible, and that didn't stop when I signed some papers. Every step I take, every fear I overcome, knowing you exist gives me the momentum to keep going and conquer the world.
That love I have for you is the most pure raw emotion that can ever be experienced. It will always be there. When you/if you decide that I am someone you want in your life, I will be there. I sense the connection to you as we are separated on this planet and I hope you can feel it too. You are and forever will be the most precious thing I have ever possessed, even if our time was limited.
I hope that life is good to you. I hope that though I know you will experience hardships inevitably, that the curveballs thrown your way are gentle. And, should anyone ever hurt you, let me know and I will rip their heart out through their throat. That's just the Mamma Bear syndrome, and it will forever be there. I hope you feel loved by many people everyday of your life, because you are. So happy birthday, princess. I wish I could be with you, but in a way I am. Smear the cake everywhere and have that general look of happiness and confusion that a good first birthday seems to leave on the face of those celebrating it. I have your birthday card, but I am saving it. I picked it out last September at a little ghetto corner store because it just was perfect. It reads, "How perfect the world became when it was blessed with you." It is the truth. I miss you and I love you. Keep on being perfect. You always will be in my eyes.
How far is near?
How near is far?
If we look up,
We see the same stars.
P.S. Your first word is my dog's name. That is my sign that you somehow know I am out here with you. It made me cry. We got a special thing kiddo. No one can break that bond.....ever.