and to 2007......

I have never been good at resolutions. I hate them. Mainly because I have consistently lived in the moment for as long as I can remember. I don't crave to be a better person as each year starts out, as I realize that, inevitably, shit will happen to knock me down, and thus things will come along to build me up. So I can't pinpoint what finished product I want to see in the next 365 days. Besides, I like that element of surprise. I will undoubtedly have at least 50 soul reallignments before the next switching of the calendar.

On the other hand, I love New Year's Eve. It is like the dawn of a slight chance that perhaps things will be so much better with the stroke of a clock. And this year is sooo magical. As I said goodbye to a hundred people I will probably never so much as pass on the street again (not out of avoidance, just outta life), I realized that this is where I finally get to live my dream. It makes me want to piss myself out of excitement and fear at the same time. It makes me believe. I have never wanted to settle. I am not pursuing a degree with a ten year plan. I do not wish for anything in particular that I do not already have. I don't want to believe in a false dichotomy of right and wrong. I would prefer to meander in some hazy grey area.

So, in this new year, though I wish everyone enough happiness to perma grin and enough heartbreak to hope, I hope that some things just stay the same. I am just happy being me again...........finally. And I will never apologize for that.