My Secret Life

I did it! Yes, I have found out that I actually have the ability to cook! It wasn't easy, and at times I felt like giving up(aka: the "out of pepper" breakdown. It wasn't a pretty sight.) But, mission accomplished. I was able to pull off the pinnacle of cooking, the holiday meal. I did learn that if brussel sprouts are damp, they become little torpedos rapidly firing hot grease in every direction. At that point, I did what every well prepared chef does. I threw a lid on them and ran away squealing. Knowing I had to return, I approached with caution and killed them with chicken stock. Bastards. But it was a fabulous meal. And, I have made three cakes to get rid of the supply of yogurt since I am out of fridge space. Let them eat cake........alot of it.

So, now I am trying to plan out the New Year. New job. New school. Cross country move. I have been spending alot of time at home just trying to take care of my dad and enjoy my parents because I am worried my mom will freak out if I try to bring her to NY. I haven't even been out in over a month. It feels odd. But, it has been cleansing also. I feel like maybe this was a break I needed. Now, I am trying to organize the house so packing will be easy this Spring. I am notorious for packing boxes of ridiculous crap and labeling it something vague and just moving it from spot to spot unopened. "Dejenerate's Homeless Tour 97 yo" is a personal favorite. It is like the Easter Bunny and Pete Doherty got together and decided what to pack up for storage. I think that unpacking should be the 13th step. Seeing my zanyness wrapped in bubble wrap is a delightful reminder of what can happen on drugs. It is entertaining to say the least.

I am excited for this year. It feels like a lifetime of "oops" is finaling passing and I am on the cusp of everything I have dreamed of. It is finally happening. Breathe.

Merry Christmas.......

Well, this week has been a busy one. As many of you know, this is my first Christmas with the role of Matriarch due to family illness. Basically, my first "grown up" Christmas. My biggest excitement? Preparing Christmas dinner! This may bring fear to some of your hearts, but alas, I finally found something that inspired me to cook. I am inlove with a blog called "Pinknest". All of the pictures get my tummy growling and she focuses on all of the joys each meal brings. I love it. That said, I decided to research her blog and make a meal consisting of recipes she has posted. One thing is a bit hard though. She seems to be a tad(light years) ahead of me in the cooking field. I am notorious for throwing a casserole together with whatever is left in the pantry. (I make a mean tuna, mac and cheese, and pea one. It is my signature dish.) So, thus began my plight to overcome. How hard can it be? Following directions, I can do that.

I did make a small mistake though. I decided to go to the grocery store at 11am yesterday. The grocery store and I normally get along. I go at 3-5am, get my Lean Pockets and cereal and leave. Simple. Not quite the same yesterday. It was straight up guerilla warfare for food and a covetted front row spot in the aisles. It was insane! For those who would assume bread crumbs are with the bread, they are not. (And I know I am not the only person to not know this) Plain yogurt, apparently only comes in gallon drums. And though I love jicama, I now have a whole one that I held like an inquisitive chimpanzee. Do I peel it? Do I hit it with a hammer? Do I jump around squealing and throw it on the ground? (This may have gotten me some shopping space at least) I am learning though. I have faith. I can do this.

The best part though was the cardemom plight. My mom, in her fragile state, still found the energy to laugh at me in the idea of me grinding spices. So, I cheated and found out that I can buy it ground, though I sacrafice a lil flavor. This seems worth it though, because though I wouldn't let on, I am scared of grinding my own spice. It just sounds like a task for a more accomplished chef. I was expecting an expensive price, but at $13 for a small jar, and with a tub of plain yogurt, expect to be eating my cardamom streusel for awhile if you come by. Hell, I may send them out as gifts. Check the mailbox guys.

It is funny though as my mom's spice cupboard(that's right:cupboard. she has a collection) is full with spices that date back twenty years. I am not sure if these are even good, but being packrats, my mom and I save stuff. Waste not, want not. But she did freak out at the price, as I knew she would. We have now deemed this a "Cardemom Christmas". I, of course, after being forced to watch Hallmark specials to no end with my parents sick (and Barber Shop 1 and 2. My new favorite Christmas memory? Trying to teach my mom what various slang means and having her now use it with such a look of accomplishment. It is weird.) decided that perhaps it has screenplay value. The whole family is sick and not feeling Christmasy, decorations aren't up, but then I start cooking with this glorious spice. The wafting aromas inspire my dad to walk, my mom can breathe again, Cardemom heals Christmas!! Ok, blame the Hallmark Channel. But, it has brought the fam some laughs, so I like it.

But, now it is D day. Or C day more appropriately. I am off to the kithchen. Wish me luck.

Karma.....

It is always there.